After we have said goodbye, so many questions whirl through my mind. Did it have to end? What changed between yesterday and today? Could I have done something differently?
Then, the futility of the questions drive home. "Fool," says my heart, "who is there to answer your questions". But I don't need answers. I know. Goodbye is just a word coined in the English language to signify partings. When you are an integral part of my thought and emotions, there is no parting. "So, now you are also fooling yourself," my mind mocks me. "No", I protest. "I am not". When my mind is alive with memories and every touch, what meaning does a word like "goodbye" have?
I think of all the mundane things that have suddenly taken on a special significance. The ubiquitous black and yellow Mumbai auto will forever be special. A space that offered many moments of joy. A tiny, inviolate spot of togetherness. The Mumbai rains and summer and spring...The rain pouring into the auto was a source of fun and laughter and some scrambling. And, of course, the funny blue plastic raincoat. You looked adorable in it. I wonder if I will be able to get into an auto without thinking of you. It's forever attached to your being.
Moments that to an outsider will seem absolutely ordinary was filled with charm. Your erratic habit of forgetting the most simple things... You fill me with a strange tenderness, an urge to wrap my arms around you and hold you, take care of you, caress all your pain away. Imagine, if you can, my arms around you when you need me the most. They are there waiting to hold you again.
Then, the futility of the questions drive home. "Fool," says my heart, "who is there to answer your questions". But I don't need answers. I know. Goodbye is just a word coined in the English language to signify partings. When you are an integral part of my thought and emotions, there is no parting. "So, now you are also fooling yourself," my mind mocks me. "No", I protest. "I am not". When my mind is alive with memories and every touch, what meaning does a word like "goodbye" have?
I think of all the mundane things that have suddenly taken on a special significance. The ubiquitous black and yellow Mumbai auto will forever be special. A space that offered many moments of joy. A tiny, inviolate spot of togetherness. The Mumbai rains and summer and spring...The rain pouring into the auto was a source of fun and laughter and some scrambling. And, of course, the funny blue plastic raincoat. You looked adorable in it. I wonder if I will be able to get into an auto without thinking of you. It's forever attached to your being.
Moments that to an outsider will seem absolutely ordinary was filled with charm. Your erratic habit of forgetting the most simple things... You fill me with a strange tenderness, an urge to wrap my arms around you and hold you, take care of you, caress all your pain away. Imagine, if you can, my arms around you when you need me the most. They are there waiting to hold you again.
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